
Dr. Karl Menninger was a pioneering psychiatrist in mental health. He would often plainly state that all treatment must begin with the proper balance of both hope and doubt. If a person has too much hope, they are at risk for early disappointment when something does not fall neatly into place. Hope sustains the commitment to following through with the steps and the observances needed to succeed on our life’s journey. Thus, not taking for granted that success will inevitably materialize implies that one has added the proper tincture of doubt to bolster resolute effort. If a person possesses too much doubt, they will not attempt to change their circumstances or try new behaviors. Therefore, the conveying of either substantial doubts or unrealistic hopes undermines the investment in oneself and the diligence required to move forward. Too much doubt leads to fear. This fuels both the hoarding of what is precious and the justification that one must greedily grab everything before someone less deserving takes it.
Hopelessness, when suffused with the belief that life will not change, is predictive of suicide/homicide. Anger arises when someone feels politically manipulated into believing that his or her time has arrived then only to be disappointed at a lack of the actualization of the promised opportunities. Politically we know that riots have exploded when kindled dreams are extinguished or trampled. At that moment one enters the daunting inferno of abandoned hope and then despair gives way to resentment and rage. When authoritative discipline makes us feel damaged and incapable, instead of it restoratively assisting our sense of self-efficacy we become burdened by an experience of isolating shame. I have seen in those who perpetrate interpersonal violence their ability to cull out the damaged and convince their future victims that they will be different and will treat them with both the love and the respect that they deserve. However, soon the same dance will be repeated. The words someone was longing to hear will not be matched by their actions and the blaming of the victim or others soon resumes. Politicians and others may at times be great snake oil sellers, but their cures do not address the individual or environmental barriers to equal opportunity.
What are you hoping for? How then will the arrival of your longed-for wishes come to fruition? Hope must be suffused with the realism that arises from living in the moment. It must also be coupled with an awareness of the actions that must be initiated for change. In our relationships and communities, it is just as important to share dreams as it is resources and roadmaps. Arrival to the promised land, however, is achieved through what Dr. Karl Menninger referred to as finding a “Vital Balance.” Dr. Karl, as he was affectionately called by students and employees at Menninger’s, stated that the formula for good mental health included elements of work, play, faith, hope, and love. Work can be substituted with school for those that are students. When any of those ingredients are missing, the loss of connection fuels violence. In our assessments of ourselves and others, it is worthwhile to inquire into these five crucial aspects of humanity. These five ingredients promote vitality and joy in life. In my interviews, I accordingly always try to inquire about faith, play, work, love, and hope. Good counsel often helps us grant ourselves the ability to imagine what we might be capable of achieving when we find a vital balance.